NotListed

R.I.P. Brendon

Wed, 11 May 2005 23:12:38 GMT

So today was so extremely fucked up. I went to school in a decent mood and had big plans for the afternoon. Well Im walking to lunch and Meredith walks up to me and tells me Brendon Thayer died.

Brendon Thayer died.

I walk down the stairs and theres this huge group of people crying. I think like half the school went home today. I didnt know Brendon knew so many people.

Anyways Chris and I went home. Hung out with John, Mark, Bennett, and Byron for a while at Chris's. Byron and Mark were pretty bad off.

Dana came over and the three of us have been hanging out. I still cant believe Brendon's dead, like its hitting me in waves. Everytime I think of him doing something goofy it hurts.

Hopefully Brendon didnt die for no reason and everyone that knew him will get off that shit.

Wed, 11 May 2005 04:50:05 GMT

Wow. It actually took me a year to fuck things up here like I did in Florida. Im proud of myself.

Wed, 11 May 2005 04:46:19 GMT

I knew all along so I dont know why it's bothering me so much now that I know for sure. It just sucks. I mean it sucks because it was her but it sucks even more because it was both of them.

Tonight was fucked up. I think Dana hates me now. Chris told me today he thinks she has a crush on me...

Went to Ali's. Nothing happened. Shes cool though...

Out of cigarettes, have no money, and still owe Cody a pack. Tomorrow's gonna be fucked up.

Wed, 11 May 2005 03:03:01 GMT

The shit hit the fucking fan tonight.

Sun, 18 Jul 2004 15:54:05 GMT

My new username is Australiabound. If you're not on the list it's for one of three reasons.
1. I don't like you.
2. I didn't know if you still wrote in your livejournal.
3. I did't know if you still read livejournal.

If you want me to add you comment on either livejournal and I'll consider.

Thu, 15 Jul 2004 15:55:24 GMT

Your mom, motherfuckers.

Fascinating...

Thu, 15 Jul 2004 15:41:29 GMT

Tue, 06 Jul 2004 18:25:01 GMT

I have sat too long in my silence. I have grown too old in my pain. To shed this skin, be born again, it starts with an ending. So thank you friends for the time we shared. My love stays wiyh you like sunlight and air. Oh, I truly wish I could keep hanging around here but my joy is covering me. Soon, I will dissapear.

Mon, 05 Jul 2004 15:41:49 GMT

Imagine suffering. Imagine suffering for a very long time. Imagine finding out that all that suffering won't matter in a matter of days.

Sun, 04 Jul 2004 22:50:15 GMT

And I swear to god if anyone calls my house for me and says more than 8 words to either one of my grandparents about anything at all....

Sun, 04 Jul 2004 22:32:28 GMT

Thanks to a "real friend" who decided to call my grandma at work and told her that I pop pills and snort shit I now have a 1 way ticket to Texas. See you in 2 years. Asshole.

Sun, 04 Jul 2004 16:36:09 GMT

Now that I've tried it I'm scared of what it could mean knowing I can get it whenever I want. I must never let this happen. I must never get a job.

Sat, 03 Jul 2004 18:35:27 GMT

And once again, Im single.

Sat, 03 Jul 2004 18:04:17 GMT

"Tell all the girls to go fuck themselves."

Fri, 02 Jul 2004 17:24:32 GMT

i think i'll just stay right down here on this floor
'cause if i get back up, i'll only fall down more
it ain't the liquor; it ain't the beer that keeps me down
it ain't the sad songs or the heartache
it ain't even this town
well i must've had a pretty good time to end up here
made a pretty good run; caught up with me, my dear
there's no need to make a fuss 'cause i'll be alright
just let me lay here a while, 'till i can stand up right

now i'm just a little bit tired, that's all
and don't make me get up, 'cause i'll just fall

now please stop talking so loud and just let me sleep
i ain't in nobody's way; they can step over me
and i think i'll stay right down here on this floor
'cause if i get back up, i'll only fall down more

Thu, 01 Jul 2004 08:46:11 GMT

Well Lindsay, that was a dramatic exit if I ever saw one.

Hmm, it seems walking home tonight I realized that I miss having sex.

I miss something else, too. My conection to the earth.

Wait a fucking minute, it all makes sense. I feel disconnected this summer. If Im disconnected I can freely float to the moon, and then drive to australia.. I must stay disconnected. I must see how far down this hole I've fallen into is.

Mon, 28 Jun 2004 08:27:03 GMT

I hope it eats you up inside
Though I know it doesnt
Suffer

Mon, 28 Jun 2004 08:25:44 GMT

Walking home I saw a television on in someones house. Somehow, that lead to me thinking about how someone in the Shores was having sex right now. That lead to me thinking about whether any teens were having sex right now, which lead to something deeper.
I wondered if any teens were laying in their squeaky white aluminum headboarded bed, asleep in each others after making love, not having sex, all night while their parents were out of town. I couldn't help but smile, I was truly happy for a few seconds. Just the thought of knowing two people were lucky enough to feel the way I once did. It was...mesmerizing.
Then I thought about who that probably was, and how they were probably doing the exact same things we once did. How they were feeling towards each other, the exact same way we once felt towards each other. To know she felt the exact same way towards someone else..... My world shattered.

Mon, 28 Jun 2004 04:21:00 GMT

I REFUSE to be brainwashed by my peers from now on. My thoughts and feelings are my own from here on out.

Sat, 26 Jun 2004 16:10:37 GMT

I don't have time for you anymore.

Sun, 20 Jun 2004 04:38:31 GMT

It'll all be over soon with me. I promise.

Sun, 20 Jun 2004 02:27:02 GMT

I realized two things last night.
The first is how truly unfair everything in this world is. How ignorance and close-mindedness has spread across this country like a plague and has ruined everything that was ever fair or equal. How unfair people are towards each other. How unfair life is in general. Scort made me realize this.
The other is that I have no idea what I believe in. I am so completely selfish and wreckless with what I do and dont do.

Whatever. None of this matters anyways. Maybe since I know that, it's the reason for it all....

Sat, 19 Jun 2004 21:53:47 GMT

My grandparents think I'm gay.
I'm not allowed to leave the house until my grandparents go to bed.
And my hamburger strangely tastes like bug spray.

Thu, 17 Jun 2004 03:45:10 GMT

I'm moving to THAT star. The one that's not too bright but not too dim. It's called Australia.

Tue, 15 Jun 2004 18:32:53 GMT

Damn the 867 household for introducing me to the god known as Ben Folds.